Sunday, October 21, 2007

2 week wait

So I'm in the two week wait now. The crazy time after ovulation when I hope and pray and wish that a sperm has successfully reached my egg and the little ball of cells is dividing and about to implant into my uterine lining. I drank green tea to help with conception. I'm drinking only decaf coffee and avoiding alcohol. And taking my prenatals religiously. I blow fallen eyelashes off my thumb and wish for a baby. When I drive over railroad tracks I lift my feet up and and wish for a baby. I try to think happy thoughts and visualize (the way they teach you to do in sports) the positive outcome that I want. ie, the little baby implanting cozily, the big PREGNANT sign on my digital HPT. Am I crazy to do all this. Probably. Deep down I know that anything I do now would not affect a baby. But I don't want to jinx it. So I do my crazy things just in case. O.K. so can you tell I'm a worry wort?

Last night my husband and I watched March of the Penguins. It was so interesting to see how they sacrifice so much to have a healthy chick. They walk for like 70 miles on the ice to get to the safe breeding grounds. Then brave the freezing cold blizzards while holding the precious egg on their claws and under a warm flap of skin. After the mother transfers the egg to her mate, she walks the walk back to the sea to catch fish to eat. The father stays behind and cares for the egg. He goes without food for 4 months until the mother comes back to take over and feed the hatched chick. Then he gets to go and walk the walk to get to the sea to feed. But before he goes he memorizes the song of his chick so that he can find him/her to feed when he returns for the sea with food. It was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. To think that birds go through so much to have and care for their young. It makes me feel a little less crazy for doing all the wacky things I'm doing to have one of my own.

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