My meeting with the MFM went well for the most part. First of all, I was able to tell him what happened to me and Lydia without crying. I was amazed at myself since this is the first time I was able to do that. Well after hearing it all and looking through my records he thinks that even though I could be labeled as a classic IC patient we can't be sure that it wasn't also pre-term later (PTL). Perhaps the contractions happened really quick and caused my cervix to dilate. Or perhaps my cervix opening up caused the contractions. We will never know. But for next time (if we manage to even get pregnant again) I will be getting a cerclage to keep the cervix shut once I make it to 12 weeks, and then I'll take P17 shots weekly starting at 16 weeks to stop PTL. When describing the P17 he was all apologetic because it is a shot and "those are hard". I actually laughed. I reminded him that Lydia was the result of IVF and I had to have shots everyday for weeks and weeks. So a weekly P17 is no big deal. The doctor also suggests that I have weekly cervix checks and will do modified rest depending on how the cervix looks. I plan on doing self imposed modified bedrest regardless. He showed me how the cerclage would be done on this cool little model of the uterus and vagina. Doesn't seem to complicated. And he has been doing them for 18 years. So that made me feel good. When I asked about a TAC (transabominal cerclage) he said that in my case it isn't warranted because I have plenty of cervix. Basically he only recommends TACs to women with little to no cervix left. I'm going to do a little more research on this. I know that he is a highly respected MFM but from what I've heard on the cerclage message boards most doctors do not recommend TACs simply because they don't know enough about them. I do trust this doctor. But he is just a man. And he might not know all there is to know about cerclages. So I'll do a little digging around and see if I can get a second opinion on this just in case.
I did ask him about transferring 2 blasts and he didn't totally agree with my RE that I wouldn't be able to carry a twin pregnancy to term. But he said the chances of going into pre-term labor increase with twins and that I should consider that when deciding how many we want to transfer. I know that Busted (from Busted Babymaker) and some other women out there have had success transferring one so I'm feeling a tad better about it. But just a tad. I'll need to research this some more too.
The last thing we talked about was how long I should wait before TTC. This was the only part of the consult that bugged me. He agreed that 3 months was standard but that I may need more time mentally. I told him that mentally I thought I was getting there and know it will take some time. That I have an appointment with a therapist tomorrow, and I'm reading a lot about grief and pregnancy/baby loss (I have a stack of books I'm going through). This blog, others blogs, and message boards are a good outlet for me too. This is what works for me. But he gave me a skeptical look and said "well it best to take some time because the next pregnancy you'll be really anxious". O.K. I get that. Of course I'll be anxious! But I don't think that waiting 6 months instead of 3 is going to stop that anxiety from coming. Whether I get pregnant tomorrow or next year I'll be anxious during the pregnancy. I know myself. And I know that I've waited long enough. I waited for my husband to want to TTC. I waited for the fibroid surgeries. I waited to go to the RE. I waited for IVF. Now I have to wait again. I'm tired of waiting. I want to be a mother to a live baby. I guess this is something to go over with the therapist tomorrow.
