IF Angels

On Wednesday I got to meet up with Ariel from wishing for my miracle.  It was so nice actually meet up with an online friend.  My husband was very nervous about the meeting.  Wondering if she would turn out to be some crazy internet stalker.  But he couldn't have been more off base.  She is my IF angel.  One of the sweetest people I've ever met.

After meeting up with her I was thinking about how much this virtual world of IF support has meant to me.  It has been so helpful to me to "meet" with others who are going through or have gone through infertility struggles.  Besides bonding over the same issues, I've learned a ton.  I feel like I know the right questions to ask and I feel more prepared for my treatments because of bloggers and Nesties.  You just can't get the same kind of knowledge from the little info packet from the RE office.

I know you all know what I mean.

So thanks to Ariel.  And thanks to all of you.  

What a weekend

So the my weekend started out with a sign.  Since Wednesday I've been doing a Novena to St Therese.  Her symbol is rose petals falling from heaven.  Well on Friday I went to get my hair cut.   My husband was supposed to pick me up but the timing didn't work out so I ended up trying to catch a bus.  I was a half a block away from the bus stop, when I say my bus fly by and was annoyed that I would have to wait.  Well when a bus finally pulled up 15 minutes later, I hopped on and decided to sit in the extra-wide seat since it was pretty empty.  I almost never choose the extra-wide because you could end up sitting knee to knee with someone and I just don't like that.  Anyway, I sat and saw right at my feet this sight.  Pink rose petals on the floor.    If that isn't a sign I don't know what is.  The rest of the weekend was great.  I went to my friend's baby shower and had a great time.  It was all of her moms friends, me, and her.  All the old biddies were hilarious talking about their hot flashes and how much they hate Sarah Palin.  We had uber girlie foods like tea sandwiches and baby cakes (actually thumbnail sized cakes).  On the way home my friend thanked me for dealing so well with all the baby talk and said that she knew that we would be doing the same thing for me soon.  I just hugged her  and whispered I hope so.  She is so great.  I mean, this event was all about her but she understood that I might be a little uncomfortable.  And I really wasn't.  No one asked when I was going to have a baby or any questions like that.  It was just a fun day and I was so happy to support my friend.  I'm so lucky to have such an understanding woman in my life.  So I've had a great weekend so far.  I hope it carries on through the week.

Private Practice

O.K. so I love the series Private Practice.  I love that the writing is smart and the acting is good.  And I like that one of the doctors is a fertility specialist.  

That being said.....I hated the season premier.  I hated the storyline about a couple who used PGD to select a genetic match for their sickly 7 year old son.  The baby is 6 months in utero and healthy.  But because the son is feared to die soon, the parents want the unborn baby delivered so they could used the cord blood to save the son.    When the main character decides that she will not deliver the baby early in order to give her a chance at life, the mother breaks her own water with a knitting needle.  

It just broke my heart.  I mean, I know it is just TV and they have to make it dramatic.  But this just hit a wrong nerve with me.  Especially in light of this retarded article.  I don't want people thinking that  reproductive technology is used for people who want "designer babies" or selfish career women who waited too long.  Or people who want to create a child just to use their cord blood.  Uh.  

Half the family knows... and What's with Cheryl

So this weekend we told my husband's mom about everything.  It felt really good to lay it out on the table.  I think that she took it well for the most part.  But I got the impression that she thought IVF was too drastic a move.  She didn't say anything though.  Just asked random questions about egg harvesting (which scares her) and how many embryos will be placed (she is also very scared of multiples).  

What I really wanted her to understand was where we are coming from, especially in our planning for the holidays.  Their family has big Christmases.  Lots of gifts, lots of decor, and lots of food.  We switch off between visiting my family and his for Christmas

 every year.  And this year it is their turn.  But if my IVF schedule gets in the way, well obviously I'm not traveling anywhere.  My husband is really upset about this but I just don't care.  There is no way I'm putting this off for one more month.   I think he will feel better about it if his family comes to term with us possibly not making it home.  

So what is with Cheryl Burke from Dancing with the stars.  I think she is looking a little heavier.  Not bad.  I think she looks great actually but not as skinny as she looked in past years (as in the photo below with Ian Ziering).

  If she has put on some weight 

and is still strutting her stuff I think it is a great thing for television.    This season she is paired up with Maurice Green who I once upon a moon had a major crush on.  I was a high school 200 meter sprinter with

 a thing for Olympic stars.  Anyway, I like this pairing but really think my overall favorite is Warren Sapp.  For a huge guy he really has twinkle toes.  I think he has the good shot of winning the mirrorball this season.  

Baby Mama (spoiler warning)

O.K. so although many of you may have already seen this movie, I waited for it to come out on dvd.  But I figured I would place a little spoiler warning for those of you who haven't watched it yet.  If you haven't watched and still want to then I would not read below the line

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Alright so I thought it was really lame. I know it is a movie, but come on.  It was completely unrealistic.  For those of us IF soldiers it is one of those slap in the face scenarios where the woman can't get pregnant and tries everything only to magically get pregnant once she thought she was having a baby via a surrogate.  What the hell.  And it really annoyed me that the surrogate did not get a beta after her transfer.  I know it would have changed the plot slightly but it would have made a lot more sense.  Then there is the case of the Tina Fey character only finding out that she has a T shaped uterus after all of her 9IUIs and IVFs fail.  WTF.  Wouldn't she have found that out before hand.  Whatever.  

The one thing I did like was the annoyance that Tina Fey felt over the surrogate company owner getting pregnant at a late age naturally.  I could actually relate to that.  

Altogether it was a relatively cute film.  I expected more from Tina Fey and Amy Poehler.  I just thought it would have been a lot funnier.    

Its Official

We are moving on to IVF.  At my  RE appointment today we went over all that is to come.  In six weeks I will start birth control pills and take them for 10 days, Lupron for 10 days, Follistim  8-14 days. hCG shot, then egg retrieval 36 hours later.   O.K. if it weren't for reading all these blogs and message board posts I'm sure my jaw would have hit the floor when my RE mentioned taking the pill.  The last thing I would equate with getting pregnant is taking the pill.  I'll forever more look at it as a waste of countless dollars to prevent me (hahahahaha) from getting pregnant.  I could have taken that money, saved it up, invested it, and been able to pay for IVF.  Hindsight makes us wise!!

When she showed me the pictures of the blastocysts I started to get dreamy.  I could just imagine my little blastocysts developing in the petri plate.  All sweet and multi-cellular.  It is kind of fitting with me being a biologist that my own baby will be conceived in a lab, incubated, cultured.  It is what I do every day.  So I find it kind of cool.  And my doctor didn't mind me asking her all sorts of dorky embryology questions.  

Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this.  I mean, I thought I would dread it.  Like it was the last hope or something.  But I really feel like this is going to work for us.  And I can't wait to get started.  

It also gives me approximately 6 weeks to get my butt in gear and lose some weight.  So in addition to the belly dancing, fertility yoga, and jogging with my #1kiddo Bailey (my dog), I will be actively dieting.  Nothing severe.  Just trying to go down 10lbs.  We'll see what happens.  But it will give me something else to focus on while I wait wait wait until I get to start the birth control pill.

This will be a good week

My husband keeps trying to tell me that a positive mental attitude leads to positive outcomes.  So I'm going to try it by making a list of everything that will make me happy this week.

1.  ICLW, for those of you wonder about the cute little puppy icon but have been too lazy to click on it, it is for International Comment Leaving Week.  This week have to comment on 5 new blogs and return one comment.  A total of 6 blogs a day.  The best part of ICLW is that I get to read all these new blogs that I probably wouldn't have come across otherwise.  There is some good stuff out there.  And as more and more of the writers of my favorite blogs get pregnant (I get a ton of inspiration from those blogs so I'll keep reading them of course) I have to add new ones to my blog roll of people still trying like me so that I can have stuff to read that I can relate to.  And ICLW is the perfect vehicle for this.  So if you haven't done so, click on the puppy icon and find out what it is all about.

2.  I have always looked forward to the new fall season of tv shows.  I always get a thrill out of seeing cliffhangers get resolved and checking out the new programs to see if I like them.  This fall I'm really looking forward to Grey's Anatomy.  It has really wonderful writing and I love where the story line is going.  But I'm also really into Dancing with the Stars which is just a cheesy reality show.  That isn't all.  I love How I met your Mother, Private Practice, Brothers and Sisters and Desperate Housewives.   Thank goodness we have a DVR.    

3.  We have a new guy at work.  This is good because a new person always changes the social dynamics of the lab.  We were in this stagnant situation of a bunch of 20 something grad students who were really loud and obnoxious all day long.  There were only 3 of us more mature quite types.  This guy is a little older and has kids.  So I'm going with the assumption that he'll be in the quiet group.  Already I've noticed that the volume has gone done a ton.  Lets hope it stays like this.

4.  I'm signing up for belly dancing.  There is this new studio in my neighborhood and it looks like fun.  And I could use some activity around my middle.  Stress eating all summer is not good for the waistline.