I'm still pregnant. But things are not looking good. My betas have been rising steadily but not doubling. My RE told me that what will certainly happen is the baby will keep growing as long as I stay on my progesterone and estrogen. But it will never get past 7 or 8 weeks. And by continuing to take the meds I'm prolonging the inevitable. She has no idea why this happened as she fully expected me to have a healthy pregnancy by this point. And at the moment doesn't know what direction to go in next.

My heart is broken. My husbands heart is broken.

How did we get here?

I don't think I'm going to write here anymore. I'm just so sick of writing all about my stupid crappy journey. So I'm on a break. Not sure for how long.

Beta is in.....

And I'm pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!

Level was 66.5. Need to go in again Tuesday for a 2nd beta.

I did cheat though and took a test yesterday morning

after feeling lots of cramps on Friday. So I suspected as much. But I was still nervous. And I'm still nervous. I suppose that will happen until I have a live baby kicking and screaming in my arms.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance

October is pregnancy loss awareness month. And October 15th is pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. On this day, everyone who has lost a baby or knows someone who has lost a baby is invited to light a candle in remembrance at 7pm local time. Please consider doing this and encouraging others to participate as well. There are local candlelit walks around the country. Check out this link for more information.