Tuesday, July 14, 2009

It isn't me!!!

I knew I'd find out soon but didn't expect it to be this soon. The fish dream (see post below if you have no clue what I'm talking about) was about my older brother. Apparently he forgot how to properly use a condom. My other brother told me the news last night. I told him that I was just going to try to block this knowledge from my memory. But of course I can't. This baby, this sweet innocent child is a result of a fling. A fling!!! I would like to say I'm surprised but I'm not. This means my older brother now will have 3 children. One he takes care of and is in our lives. My beautiful nephew Dominic. His daughter we haven't seen since she was about 1. Her mother hates my brother and banned him from her daughter's life, and thus banned her from our lives. And now this baby. I'm pretty certain that s/he is not going to have a role in my brother's life. He can't stay in a relationship (monogamy issues) and he can't financially support another child. He just barely gets by paying child support for Dom. I hate this! It isn't fair that he should get to have another baby and mine is ashes on my mantle.

16 comments:

Michelle said...

I know how you are feeling I have the same issues with BIL and SiL. I am sorry...it really sucks!

♥Tabitha said...

Oh no! I'm so very sorry about all of this, it's so sad. I know God has a plan for each and every one of us, but sometimes it just doesn't seem fair, and we have to rely on our Faith to pull us through. I'll be praying extra hard for you. (((HUGS))) And my goodness that's crazy how the whole fish dream works!!

Astrid said...

WOW. How crazy how that fish dreaming thing totally works. Every single time apparently. Kinda scary. In any case, sorry it wasn't your dream this time. One day it will be. And interesting background on your brother.

Pink-CJ said...

WOw, you can dream about these things. Life isnt' fair. I am so sorry. Your time will come. I promise!

Celine said...

I'm very sorry. (((Hugs))))

theworms said...

I'm so sorry B, it's not fair, I don't get and it makes me so sad and angry I could punch someone.

(((HUGS)))

Anonymous said...

All I can say and send are huge ((((hugs))))

meinsideout said...

I am so sorry - absolutely, totally unfair and wrong. Your last sentence made me tear up - I am so sorry - but you are an amazing and strong woman. Thank you for taking time out of your life, your loss to comfort me.

Sweet Georgia said...

Wow. I mean just wow. It's amazing that there are women & men like us struggling away to make our dreams a reality and for some it's just so darn easy. Sending you some hugs from Canada.

bencu said...

I'm so sorry! I'm sure this info was quite a blow.

I'm still just amazed by the whole fish dream deal. That is just beyond fascinating that is always turns out true.

I can't wait for a fish dream about you!

Kim said...

I'm so sorry. I have a VERY similar situation with my sister. I will never understand why things work the way they do. It's not fair and it's heartbreaking.
((hugs))

B MoM said...

that f-n sucks. My bro had 3 kids before I even conceived with this, my first child as well. I was sooooo jealous.

MabelB said...

Urgh. Life isn't fair at all. It is such a cruel fate that people who don't intend or want to create miraculous new lives often seem to do it accidentally when so many people long for it more than anything and go to such great lenghts only to hit brick walls again and again. It's still like a knife in my heart every time I hear of a situation like that even now I'm finally pregnant, once an IFer always an IFer in so many ways. A similar thing is pregnant women who have been so blessed but are still smoking/ doing drugs etc - it makes me so ANGRY!

As always thoughts and prayers with you, and hope your fish dream (love how that works!) and resulting healthy baby/ies come very soon.

TTC a lil F said...

It doesn't make sense. I know it must be a hurtful reminder. ((Hugs))

Stephanie said...

I'm so sorry. :( It is just not fair and makes no sense. I'm sorry you have to deal with this right now.

Clio said...

oh my! on the suckage scale this really goes way beyond the top level. I'm very sorry.
I always like to think that everything in life has a lesson, but really? What can we learn from something like this! I'm joining you in your anger for fertility unfairness.