Friday, January 30, 2009

My 2cents on the Octuplets

Let me start by saying that of course I don't begrudge anyone the right to have as many children as they desire.  If your goal in life is to mother and be a mother then go for it.  
But the story of this woman who gave birth to 8 babies astounds me.  And it annoys me because it is making ART look bad.  When this woman's mother goes on television stating that her daughter underwent fertility treatments everyone just assumes that it means she had IVF.  Ummmm I don't think so.  IVF costs thousands of dollars.  This woman has no insurance and with 6 other children at home I doubt she could scrounge up the money  to do IVF.  But lets say she somehow got the money.  Took out a loan or something.  There is no doctor in the USA who is going to  put in 8 embryos.  And I doubt that they would have put in four and they all split.  It just doesn't happen.  My doctor didn't even want to put in 3.  And she counseled me repeatedly about selective reduction.  I knew that I would not reduce, not in a million years.  So I agreed that we would only put in 2 embryos. 

So no I don't think she had IVF.  She could have had an IUI.  Maybe she took clomid, maybe she got her hands on an injectible.  But I think any doctor worth their salt would have cancelled her cycle if they saw the 8 follicles.  Or they would have tried to convert her to IVF, but you read my thoughts on that already.

With all that I don't think she had the help of a fertility doctor.  I think she got her hands on clomid or follistim and took it on her own.  She maybe could buy some illegally on the internet, or in Mexico or something.  And then I think she went and had a lot of sex.  She probably just wants her own reality tv show like the duggars or john and kate plus 8.  But I don't know this.  Maybe she just wanted a 7th child desperately.  

It doesn't really matter how she did it.  Or why. I'm just pissed at the bad publicity that ART is getting from this.  It just gives the jerks out there more ammunition to disregard the pain and heartache of infertility and worry about people like this woman and her 14 kids.  

o.k. on to nicer topics.  Marcu over at Womb for Rent gave me a blog award.  The coveted I 3> your blog award in fact.  And I thank her some much for the acknowledgement.  I feel extra special because I've received this award previously.  And actually already followed the award rules of choosing other blogs to give the award to etc.  So I don't want to do that all over again.  But I do however want to recommend you guys go over and visit Womb for Rent.  It is one of my favorites and I'm sure you'll enjoy it too.

Friday, January 23, 2009

I graduated

So much happened at my 8 week appointment.  First of all the baby is growing beautifully and we could clearly see the four chambers of the heart and the umbilical cord and her little arm buds.  So so cute.  The photo just does not do it justice.
My RE also found something called a subchorionic hemorrhage.  It is not on the same side as the placenta and was already clotting so she said it was o.k. and that they are pretty common.  But to take it easy just to give it time to keep clotting and healing itself.  

And then the piece de resistance.  She said no more progesterone shots.  YAYYYYYYY!  Oh I was so happy to hear that.  My levels from my bloodtest the day before showed that I'm fine to stop the injections.  But she has me doing vaginal inserts for a few more weeks.  I can handle that.  My poor butt is killing me and is so happy to not have to be poked at every day.  And K is so happy not to have to administer those shots.  And no more baby aspirin either.  Just have to stick with the estradiol.  

So at the end of the appointment my RE said "Well you've graduated.  There is no need for me to see you anymore."  So I hugged my IVF nurse coordinator, the doctor, and a few more nurses.  They were all so sweet to me and made me promise to come back to show them my big belly and then the baby.  Of course I will.  I've shed so many tears in that office and there was always someone to hand me tissue and pat my back.  And they were all pulling for me with the low beta numbers issue.  So it will be hard to leave them behind.  Hard to go to a new practice where I know the level of care just can't ever compare.  But it is good to know that I'm sort of now a "regular patient".  They don't stamp infertility on my flex spending receipts anymore.  And I only had to pay the regular $20 copay for my last few visits because I was pregnant.  It all switched just like that.  

Monday, January 19, 2009

Exhaustion Continues

This weekend I spent most of my time sleeping.  I wake up early, take Bailey for his walk, and then when I get home and eat breakfast I'm ready for a nap.  No kidding.  During the week of course I can't nap in the morning.  I have to get ready for work.  But on the weekends I just indulge myself and sleep.  So I napped after breakfast.  And then again in the afternoon.  I did this on Saturday and Sunday.  

But this morning I stayed in partly because the nausea is really bad, and partly because I wanted to watch the inauguration.  Now the inauguration is done, but I'm still feeling gross.  And I have a lunch date with my friend Beth.  So I better rally and try to get into work.  I've got some ginger candy to munch on.  I hope that helps.

One last thought.  So it seems that I keep referring to our baby as a boy.  K keeps on referring to the baby as a girl and keeps throwing out girl names.  I really have no feeling whatsoever about the sex, but I guess subconsciously I think it is a boy.   My brother is hoping that it is a boy because he just found out that his child that is due in May is a boy and he has all these plans to form this mini-football team.  Too cute.  Of course little girls can play football too.  So it doesn't matter.  Boy or Girl.  We are thrilled.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

7 weeks today

And we have a strong beautiful heartbeat.  I went to the RE on Tuesday afternoon for my 2nd ultrasound and was so very nervous.  I kept having this stupid feeling that the baby was just gonna not be there.  I don't know where it would be but it doesn't matter.  He was there.  And his little heart beats 120 bpm.  

So at first my RE pointed out the little flicker flicker of the heart and I was just overjoyed.  It was amazing.  But then she turned on the sound and hearing the little whoosh whoosh whoosh of the heartbeat I just about about fell off the table.  At that moment I was in love.  There is just nothing like it in the world.  

My RE was so happy that she hugged me.  She was really worried since my betas started off so slow and said that the doctors in her practice were all discussing me in their weekly meeting because they had only had one other patient start off so slow.  She did have a healthy baby and her 1st beta was 10.  Well mine was 14.  And They did do mine a day early due to Christmas so it really would have been around 20.  The point I'm trying to make is that now they can add my numbers to the data set and change those means so they don't have to worry if this happens to another patient.  I'm always about the science.

All the admin ladies were so cute and excited for me.  I just love them all so much.  They were like "don't forget us."  Are you kidding me.  How could I ever.

My RE gave me a referral for one OB that is nearby.  And a fact sheet on prenatal genetic screening that needs to be done around 12 weeks. Fun stuff. 

Well sorry for all the delays in posts.  I'm just totally exhausted these days.  I can barely get everything done at work.  It is so sad.  But worth it of course.  Especially since I'm not puking.  My nausea is pretty mild and seems to disappear if I eat.  So I try to stay on top of it.  So I'll take exhaustion.  It is workable.  My other major symptom is heartburn.  It is so not fun.  And lastly....constipation.  This seems odd to me since I'm drinking so much water.  I can't get enough water I'm always thirsty.  But I'm still having trouble in that department.  So I'm gonna try adding some more fiber to my diet.  

One more thing and then I'd better leave for work.  My moratoreum on knitting baby stuff is over.  Yesterday I met up with Janessa and bought yarn for a gorgeous baby blanket.    We'll see when I actually have enough energy to work on said blanket.  But I have the yarn and supplies ready.  I'll show photos when I've made some progress.  

Friday, January 9, 2009

6 weeks and 1 day pregnant

Yay.  I love writing that.  
So we had our first ultrasound yesterday morning.  I was so very nervous before hand.  I tried to convince myself it was just routine and I would be fine no matter what.  But of course that wasn't true.  I needed clear evidence that the baby was developing normally and was in the right location (yes I was still a tad nervous that it would be ectopic).  Well it was.  There was one little fetal sac, with the yolk sac measuring 3 mm which is totally normal.  My RE was so happy.  It was too early to see the heartbeat so we are going back next week.  I can't wait to see my little one again.  It was just so cute.  Like a little gummy bear.  My RE said to think about OBs.  I was shocked.  I really hadn't thought that far ahead.  The goal for so long was to get pregnant.  So now we have to think of OBs and Hospitals.  Oh gosh.  My husband got into a long discussion with my RE about level 3 hospitals and all sorts of stuff I had no clue about.  It was cute that he had done a little research and knew so much more than me.  My RE was impressed too.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Beta more than doubled!!!!

So my RE is happy.  And I'm happy.  And my husband is relieved.  My first ultrasound is scheduled for next Thursday.  I am in shock.  I really had checked out of this one.  So I thank everyone who kept hope alive, sent positive thoughts, and prayed for me.  I still don't feel like I can relax about this pregnancy.  But I do feel more like I did when I got the initial call on Christmas Eve that I was pregnant.  There is more joy than fear.  

Still Pregnant.

As of right now.  My betas are still doubling.  I can see two lines on the HPTs I bought.  But the beta numbers are too low for any kind of comfort.  My RE eluded to the fact that this pregnancy is not viable.  This morning I go in for a 4th and final beta.  I don't know what they are hoping for.  The numbers haven't jumped off the page yet so why bother testing one more time.

The fact of the matter is that I've already moved on.  My husband is surprised at how well I'm taking it.  I think my positive attitude stems from two things.  1.  I was able to get pregnant.  My uterus is not the barren wasteland it once was.  This embryo just isn't the one.  It just isn't strong enough.  But..... 2.  We have 7 frozen embryos.  7 waiting to be given the chance to become our children.  Those embryos made it to a day 6 freeze so we know they are strong.  If they can survive the thaw process then we are good to go.  And we are going to have 3 put in.  So as long as I can start the FET right away I have no worries.  I've been doing this for too long to get upset over this.  My body is ready.  My embies are waiting.  It will be o.k.