Sunday, October 19, 2008

Common Thread and Communal Tables



In honor of Infertility Awareness week I finally bought my pomegranate colored thread.  Infertility's common thread.  This thread is like a secret handshake.  Something to wear to show others that you are fighting the good fight.  I've been meaning to get this for a long time but finally got around to shopping at the craft store today.  So I'll be wearing my thread with pride.  I hope no one thinks it is for Kabahlah!

As for communal tables.  I always thought this was a good idea.  For those of you who haven't experienced this, it is just sharing a table at a restaurant.  You go to a restaurant, there isn't a lot of seating, but at the one large table there is room enough for two more and the people already seated there don't mind sharing.  So everyone gets to sit and eat.  And maybe you meet some cool new people.  This is what I thought.....  
This is what happened to us the other night:  K and I go out Saturday night for a date and decide on this uber hip  tapas restaurant.  Yummy food.  Yummy drinks.  But of course the place was packed once we got our butts in gear to actually leave the house and go out.  So when the hostess asked if we'd be o.k. with sitting at the communal table we agreed.   The three women at the table seemed nice enough and were apparently on a girls night out.  I thought they'd all be bitching about their boyfriends/husbands or whatever.  Not the case.  After they got their food they started to talk.  K and I were busily looking at our menus when chick A says "It is just so hard to give up breast feeding my son because I just love the cuddling."   And chick B says, "Yeah, I'm just so sad that my baby is crawling now because he isn't interested in bonding with me anymore."  O.K.  so not the conversation I wanted to be hearing right then.  As I sat there trying to tune them out, I kept thinking about the fact that this is the conversation that  my best friends are having with each other.  They could all be out (without me the childless one) sharing and bonding over their kids.  My best friends and I have always had so much in common.  But now I just feel so left out.  We are just at very different places right now.  And I so desperately want to be able to share with them again.  

Well hopefully soon.  Soon soon soon.

10 comments:

Sassy said...

That must have been so hard. And I know what you mean about being left out. *hug*

Michelle said...

I know exactly how you feel. I feel left out when all the moms get together. It sucks!!

In Due Time said...

((((Hugs))))

Good thing about the infertility community is that we get it. Hugs!

ICLW

Angry Infertile said...

I am also feeling very left out by friends and also family. I have a bracelet also, but I've never met someone in person wearing one.

ICLW

April said...

:( I know how you feel. It's worse than being picked last in gym class!

*big hugs*

SAHW said...

Very, very soon I hope.

It's hard. My best friends' "babies" are almost 6 and 4...so I never got to share the baby experience with them...but I guess they can reminisce with me. : )

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how you feel, my friend is getting ready to deliver any day now and her friend mother and 3 children are all here and I am back to being the infertile friend-militarywife2b

Deborah said...

I understand exactly what you are saying. I know some women seem to easily be able to incorporate friends with children into their lives, it has not been that easy for me. At some point during the gathering, they will start to talk about their children. I feel saddened and at a loss with the conversation, so I avoid it. That is why this community is so important to me. Over from ICLW, glad to have found you blog!

cjsayers77 said...

Thank you for your comment and thoughts on the spelling of Aidan...and thanks for visiting the hubby's blog, he recently started it and thinks I'm the only one that reads it! lol

ICLW

Teal Marie Chimblo said...

Lovely idea! ICLW.
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