Sunday, November 30, 2008

Step 2

So I have no clue how to get rid of the underline.  Blogger is weird today.  Bear with me.
O.K. so I am officially a trooper when it comes to giving myself injections.  I've done two days of stims now so I've added follistim and menopur shots to my daily regimen.  My lupron dose is cut in half from what it was in the beginning and the headaches seem to have disappeared for now.  And I finished fertility sock number one.  
Looks comfy right.  Don't you wish you had one?  Socks made by hand that custom fit your own feet are awesome.  I love it.  So I started number 2.  But I've only just finished the ribbing part.  I may start working on the heel today but I'm planning on doing my Christmas cards and decorating.  So I don't think I'll have time to get to that.  But it would be awesome if I could have a pair of socks to wear at my transfer.  That is the goal.  We'll see if I can get there.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Let me explain

So the follies poster is about a comedy show at work.  'Follies' as in Ziegfeld Follies.  The poster is an advertising campaign to get people to come to the show.  I just keep focusing on the follies are coming part.  It speaks to me on another level.

Let me also explain about my awesome acupuncture appointment today.  My regular LAc, went on vacation but she has a guy (Dave) from another clinic fill in to make sure her fertility patients all got their treatments this week.   I like Dave.  I may have to visit him again later.  Anyway today I started the special blood flow treatments.  Instead of laying on my back and getting needles on my tummy, I laid on my belly and got needles on my back.  I also had some on my calves, ankles, wrists, and hands.  But the best part was the electricity.  He hooked me up to this mini-car battery looking device and sent little currents to some of the needles.  It was so cool.  To feel stimulated, yet relaxed is just fantastic. I fell asleep after awhile and was totally groggy afterward.  I can't wait until next week.  Acupuncture is my favorite thing related to IF treatments.  It is money well spent.

I was feeling pretty good today until I got an email from my nestie/TTTC friend that her IVF cycle was cancelled today due to poor response.  I'm so sad for her.  I wish there were something I could do or say.  But of course there is nothing.  This process is hard enough, but to hit snags like poor response is just awful on so many levels. Shay I'm sending you virtual hugs because that is all I can do!!    

Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Do you think this a good sign or what?  This sign met me in the elevator at work today.  So I snapped a photo with my ever trusty iphone.  
I had my suppression check today and my RE did the scan herself to check out the cyst issue.  She said it looks fine, there is just some endometriosis around my left ovary that probably confused the ultrasound technician.  So if my bloodwork comes back o.k. I'll be starting follistim and menopur on Friday.  Then she is going to do my first follie check on Tuesday.    So far everything is working.  So should I believe Paul Revere or what?

Sunday, November 23, 2008

doing shots at a dinner party

Last night K and I went to a dinner party at his colleague's house.  The party had 1 pregnant lady (wife of  the colleague), 2 toddlers, and one child in addition to the 8 adults.  The meal was great.  (Yummy BBQ.  There is just something extra special about eating BBQ in Winter/Fall.  And the company was greater.  We didn't know anyone but the hosts.  But everyone was friendly and we enjoyed watching the little girls play.  They had little strollers with baby dolls and pushed them about the house.  K commented "this is where it starts huh."  At the end of the night one of the toddler girls kissed me a sweet little kiss the way only baby girls can and it just melted my heart.  Then she beckoned K to come over so she could kiss him on the cheek.  My heart was liquid after this.  It was just the sweetest thing.  I want one!  But you all already know that.
I had to steal away to give myself my lupron injection during the party.  That was interesting.  I was worried that someone would think I spending an awfully long time in the powder room.  But whatever.  People do on occasion have to spend long amounts of time in powder rooms.  I'm sure no one would guess that I was shooting up in there.  Filling my body with drugs that will help me to give a little playmate to those precious girls.  Anyway it went off without a hitch.  So I'm more prepared for repeating this on Thanksgiving which we will be spending with a different group of friends. 
On a different note, I wanted to keep a running list of all the blogs I have visitited for ICLW.    I like to start from the bottom and work my way up.  So far I have visitited #s109-91.  And already I've found some that I will go back to for sure.  I love ICLW.  

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Step 1

First Lupron shot---DONE!  I did it all by myself (Echloe pats herself on the back).  Not nearly as scary as I built it up to be. 

The day started with a trip to the RE for my pre-lupron sonogram (ie visit with the dildocam).  The office was suprisingly busy.  The couple with the toddler, the chick with the awesome maroon faux aligator heels, skinny woman who grabbed a granola bar as she came in, and short woman who kept smiling at the baby.  I was lucky to find a seat so I could work on my fertility socks and wait for my date with dildocam.  I didn't have to wait too long.  Only finished 2 rows of the socks.  
As you can see I still have a long way to go.  The goal of this project was to finish at least one sock by my embryo transfer.  I think I'll get there on time.  Anyway it is a good distraction to keep me relaxed during this whole process.

So when the sonogram tech started her prep I became a little nervous.  Did she really need to use that much lubricant?  Gross!  Of course it didn't hurt or anything.  But I can never relax with at those things.  And it was especially gross because I have been spotting due to the stupid birth control pills.  Anyway the tech found two lovely on each ovary measuring around 19mms.  So I also had to have my blood checked to make sure my E2 levels were still good.  Luckily my estrogen was fine so we can "ignore the cysts to some extent".  I'm not quite sure what that means.  Blah.  Can't everything just be o.k.?

In addition to informing me that my E2 was o.k. my nurse called me this afternoon to instruct me on how much lupron to inject and gave me some pointers.  She is a sweetie.  Anyway she went on to mention that it is crazy busy on mornings when everyone is getting scanned.  And I never would have seen the office so busy because they typically don't schedule other stuff during this time of day.  Uh huh.  So I guess I'll be seeing the same group of chicks in the waiting room next week.  Maybe next week one of us will have the nerve to smile or make contact.  Me and awesome shoe girl could totally be friends. 

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Positive Mental Attitude

I'm feeling so positive.  Really happy.  Happier than I've been in a long time.  I think it started when got my IVF calendar last week.  Looking at the calendar and talking to my nurse coordinator made me feel like this is really happening.  Like a baby is just within my reach now.  No stupid temperature charts or OPKs and wondering what is going on with my body.  It is all carefully controlled.  Just the way I like it.....did I mention that I'm a type A personality.
And I'm so excited.  Although I'm nervous as hell about giving myself the injections that will allow for all this control.  I'm supposed to go in for my PreLupron sonogram on Thursday morning and then beging lupron that night if all is well.  My dad is so cute.  He keeps asking me every time he calls if I've started the injectibles yet.  He is as nervous as I am.  My mom thinks I'm being a big baby.  She is diabetic and is no stranger to the needle.  I know it will be fine.  I just....ugh, I don't even like it when other people have to give me a shot.  O.K. enough with the pity party.  This stuff is gonna get me where I need to be so I'm just going to suck it up and shut up about it.  

We also paid for everything this week.  K and I finally decided to do a a multicycle treatment/shared risk plan.  The one we chose pays for 2 fresh and 2 frozen cycles.  Although we feel really good about our chances of getting pregnant on the first go around, we want to be prepared to keep trying if need be.  So we figured paying for it up front would make our lives easier by taking one thing off the plate.   The tricky thing was I had to fax our application for the program from work on Thursday.  I was so scared that I would drop one of the papers and expose myself.  I don't plan on sharing the fact that I'm undergoing IVF with anyone other than you guys and our families.  Even our closest friends will not know right now.  Anyway, I hate sending faxes.  I almost always accidently dial the phone number instead of the fax number.  I was really careful to dial the right number this time because the last thing I wanted was "you've reached integramed IVF program" played loudly for the entire office to hear.  After carefully sending the fax, I hovered by the machine a little bit to make sure it all went through and that I didn't leave any paperwork behind.  This would have been a lot easier if the program just accepted pdfs.   Well at least now it is all taken care of, and now we can just concentrate on the treatments.

My favorite part of the treatment is acupuncture.  I am supposed to give my acupuncturist  a copy of my calendar so that she can schedule me for extra sessions during certain points of the treatment.  She is also going to change up her treatments to suit the different stages I'll be going through.  For instance, she will do some needles on my back at a particular point.  I'm looking forward to all of  this.  I really like her and think she knows what she is doing.  And I really like her attention to detail.  Acupuncture is pricey so it is nice when you can feel so well cared for.  

Monday, November 10, 2008

From waiting to waiting

It seemed like it took for ever for me to get to start provera, then forever, for my period to start, then forever for the start of birth control pills.  Today I took the first pill after my cd 3 blood draw.  I felt liberated for about 3 minutes.  Then realized that I now get to sit around and wait to start lupron.  Not that I'm anxious to poke myself daily.  But I am anxious to get the show on the road.  Because I've had this obnoxious 2 months healing post hysteroscopy I've literally been waiting to try to conceive for 5 months.  I'm am very tired of waiting.  But I get to look forward to lupron and then look forward to stims.  Let the waiting continue.....

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Birthday photos

Bailey waiting patiently for his Birthday gifts.  Sitting nicely to boot!  What a good boy.
He devoured his special birthday ice-cream cone cookie in about 30 seconds.  This thing smelled good, like a people cookie.  Not that stale dog biscuit smell.  Anyway he loved it.  And now he has his brand new bling.  I love this little red and silver tag.  It looks small but on the back it fits our 2 cell phone numbers and our home number in addition to his name.  So it is practical and cute.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

3 words

YES WE CAN!!!  I'm so incredibly excited to have lived to see this day.  I thought I would be an old lady.  I thought the country would see a white woman President long before seeing a black man.  I didn't think the country was ready.  I'm so proud.  I'm so happy.   And I was a big Hillary supporter.  I love her and thought she had a better chance of winning than Obama.  But I couldn't be more pleased with how things have turned out.  Well, perhaps I would be more pleased if Obama has Hillary work on Health Care.  And they better put some infertility care in there too.  

This isn't a political blog.  I hate to talk politics.  But this is a very important time.  Besides the victory over the reds, not everything turned out the way I would have wanted.  We had a lot of measures and propositions here to vote on that I would have liked to see a  different outcome.  Particularly the passing the proposition 8 (against gay marriage).  I am so very sorry that the all of those couples who were married yesterday are not married today!  I asked my husband how he would feel if today we weren't married.  It would hurt like hell.  It is not fair.  It is complete discrimination.  And I don't understand how anyone should decide who someone else can marry.  No matter how you feel about homosexuality, think of how you would feel if you were in the shoes of a once happily married, loving couple.  Think about it.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Ow!! ow! ow!

I don't remember my boobs ever hurting so much.  No this isn't a sign.  I'm not having a miracle break cycle BFP (well at least I really don't think so).  But this estrace I've been taking for the past 2 months is really doing a doozy on my boobs.  It isn't that sensitive pain that you only get when your boobs are touched.  Way more intense.  I can feel pain when I lean forward.  Oy!  I'm so ready to be done with this and move on to birth control pills.  Never thought I say that.  I just keep surprising myself.  Anyway it shouldn't be too much longer.  

In other news this week I get to spoil my niece and my dog. My niece Alycia turns 11 on Wednesday.  I've given her pretty spectacular gifts in previous years.  Including tickets to high school musical the stage production last year.  
Well this year since we have to pay for IVF out of pocket we are trying to be a little more thrifty.  So her present is not as big.  But still really fun I hope.  I got her what I would have loved on my 11th birthday.  Make-up.  Nothing crazy.  She is only 11.  So I picked out these fun Lipsmakers lipglosses and cheek gel blush.  But I think I'm going to throw in a magazine subscription to Bop or Bopper or Teen Beat.  I used to love that stuff.  Hopefully she'll like it too.  

And my baby Bailey turns 2 tomorrow.  I've already purchased a new beautiful tag for him.  And  I bought him a really yummy looking cookie.  I would take a picture of it and show you but I think I'll wait until tomorrow to take some pictures of him enjoying the cookie and a picture of him with his new tag.  Is it crazy to buy gifts for your dog for his birthday?  Maybe.  But I don't care.