When I started driving the tears came. And then the panic. She left me in the dust. I was supposed to get pregnant first. She was the one with all the really bad problems. Why not me, why not me, what about me. I screamed. One of those pathetic tribal screams you do when you are on a roller coaster. I guess I thought as long as we both weren't pregnant I could deal. But now I'm the only one left. Every single one of my friends is pregnant or has a child (except the one single girl in our group), but me. I love them. I'm happy for them. Ecstatic for M. But so so sad for me.
I rested this afternoon and found joy playing my dog. Thank God for dogs. One look into Bailey's sweet face and all the pain goes away. We had a nice long walk and now I'm feeling a lot better. And from this posting I can tell that I'm feeling more rational about the whole thing. Its gotta be the clomid. I don't react like that. I don't scream. I didn't get crazy on 50mgs at all. I'm now on 100mg. So I think that must be it.
On a lighter note.....
I realized that I never got around to posting about the fabulous wedding that the husband and I attended last weekend. The wedding was held at the Carneros Inn in Napa Valley. The Inn was beautiful, and the setting was perfect for a wedding. But the best part was the wine. They served
Gloria Ferrer Carneros Cuvee
Cakebread Cellars Chardonnay, Napa Valley
ZD Pinot Noir, Carneros
and Hope and Grace Cabernet, Napa Valley
Like a good girl I sampled them all. And the husband and I were in complete agreement that the ZD Pinot Noir was the best. I highly recommend this one to those like me, who prefer white wines. I was surprised by the utter yumminess the ZD since I usually skip the Pinots.