Lets go back in time a bit- BIL has always had it in for me. Didn't congratulate me for getting my PhD. Didn't want me to be in the family only wedding photos even though I had already been a member of their family for 3 years at the time (My husband and his grandma made me stand in the photos anyway). I have many more examples of this behavior. The other thing is he is very self-centered. If he has done well at something we all better bow down to his majesty. He sent us out a Christmas List every year even though he is an adult, and called to ask my husband if something was wrong because he hadn't recieved his annual birthday gift on time (it was in themail). Good grief.
Fast forward to now- So I didn't shower him and his wife with praise for managing to get pregnant on the first try. So I haven't actually talked to them about it. But I did send something. Well I had the afore mentioned surgery two weeks ago, still managed to send him out a thoughtful birthday gift (on-time), and I have heard nothing from him or his wife. I don't expect them to call me. At this point they may even be trying to shield me in some way and that is why they haven't called to see what is going on with me. Haven't sent an email. A text. Anything would be acceptable by me. But nothing. Perhaps I deserve this. But I really thought by sending the card and gift it would have been enough for them to know I care.
Fast forward to last years surgery- When thinking about it I really don't remember them calling or anything after that surgery either. So maybe it isn't that they are mad at me now. Maybe they just don't really care one way or the other.
Back to now- I really don't know what is going to happen to this family. I do not want to be the one responsible for all the drama. But I don't really know how to fix this. I don't know if I can. Believe me when I say talking to them about this will not do a thing. The only thing that could possibly work is me calling them and asking detailed questions about their pregnancy and sending lavish gifts and cash. But that only helps one side. I don't think that they will ever really treat me with kindness, ever.
My mother in law is coming next weekend to "show her support" of my IF and surgery and all that. I wonder if it would do any good to explain any of this to her. What do you think? Will this just make things worse. My poor husband is stuck in the middle.